Horror Express

All aboard!  Horror Express is a 1972 horror film starring Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Telly Savalas. Or, if you perfer, Dracula, Dr. Who, and Blofeld.  This should be interesting. 

Our movie opens with Lee finding the frozen remains of what he believes to be a missing link in Manchuria.  He makes preparations to board a train, taking the remains with him.  In the meantime a man picks the lock which secures the frozen remains and later turns up dead, his eyes completely vacant of color.

 
Once the train gets moving and all our characters become acquainted Cushing's character pays a man to take a peak at whatever is in Lee's deadly crate.  The man looks in, sees the frozen remains and leaves...but later a hand reaches out and picks the lock.   Hearing a noise the man returns to investigate, only to be seized by the hand.  He looks into the red eye of the monster and his eyes turn white, blood runs from them, and falls dead.

When the man is discovered missing Lee is confronted and ordered to turn over the key.  He simply tosses it out a window.  The crate is eventually broken into and they find the body of the dead man.  Soldiers begin searching for the monster and one eventually finds it...but is killed.  Lee and his assistant perform an autopsy on one of the dead men.  They find the victim's brain is completely smooth.  Drained of his memory.

The monster claims another victim, a beautiful redhead who was attempting to rob a safe.  She was using Cushing anyway so I don't feel all that sorry to see her go.  Other than she was a redhead.  Love redheads.  Which, I feel compelled to point out...this movie has three of them.  In searching for the girl Cushing is seized by the monster but is saved by one of the soldiers.  The monster attempts to kill him from afar, using only its gaze to make his blood run...but the monster is shot several times and falls dead.

Lee theorizes that the creature is able to absorb peoples minds, their memories, through the eyes somehow.  Lee and Cushing examine the monster's eye and see things from its perspective.  They see dinosaurs and the Earth as seen from space.  Is the monster a demon or an alien?

The monster, who jumped into the body of the man that killed its body, kills Cushing's assistant. When the passengers become nervous about all the goings on they demand action.  Lee and Cushing begin to examine everyone's eyes, attempting to spot the monster, but this fails.  Later on Lee tells us that the monster arrived from another planet and was able to adapt itself to life on Earth.

Suddenly the train stops at a depot and soldiers rush into the train. Telly Savalas leads the soldiers and takes charge.  Eventually Lee exposes the monster to everyone and Telly not only stabs it in the back but puts a few bullets in it as well.  Wounded, the monster transfers its essence into a mad monk.  The monster cuts the lights and manages to kill most of Telly's soldiers and eventually, Telly himself.

Lee confronts the monster who tells us he is a form of energy from another galaxy.  The monster goes into this weird trance and brings all his victims back to life.  Working together Lee and Cushing manage to separate the last car where all the survivors are huddled together just moments before the train dives off a huge cliff.  The survivors watch the wreckage burn and we have...

Though this film is Spanish made it could quite easily fit in with the Hammer horror films.  If certain elements of this film feel familiar its because inspiration was taken from the novel Who Goes There? which was eventually put to film twice:  The Thing From Another World and its remake The Thing.   This film also goes against type, having Lee and Cushing act as allies instead of enemies.

The only negative aspect of this film is Telly Savalas.  He simply shows up far too late in the film.  Though he's wonderful in his scene chewing role of Kazan it's as though he shows up, acts absurd and is then killed off.  Well, at least he wasn't killed by a talking doll this time.  Ultimately though, Horror Express is a nice little horror movie and, if you're a fan of Hammer movies then this is right up your alley.

Them!

 
Them is a 1954 film staring James Whitmore, known to genre fans as the President of the Tribunal that tried Taylor in Planet of the Apes, but perhaps is most famous for his role as Books in The Shawshank Redemption.  Also present is James Arness who would eventually become sheriff Matt Dillon in the tv series Gunsmoke.

Our movie begins with the discovery of a small girl found wandering alone in the desert.  The police officers who find the girl investigate a trailer, thinking maybe she wandered away, only to discover it has been torn apart.  The cops visit a local grocery store and find it torn apart as well.  The mysterious culprit returns and kills one of the cops off screen.  The police and FBI are baffled.  Is there a maniac on the loose?  And why is sugar found at each crime scene?  Later, a Doctor from the Dept. of Agriculture shows up with his daughter.  The Dr. manages to jolt the little girl out of her catatonic state.  She simply screams, 'Them!' over and over.

Later the group returns to the trailer.  They find a mysterious print and while searching for more Dr. Daughter finds the source...a giant ant!  Arness and Whitmore blast it with bullets until it collapses.  The Dr. theorizes that radiation from the first atomic bomb test has mutated a nest of ants.  The Dr. is the usual kind of dysfunctional genius.  Brilliant in his deductions, but confused about simple things such as proper radio etiquette.

 
The Dr. devises a plan and they blast the nest with phosphorus to keep them (heh) inside due to the heat, and drop cyanide to kill the ants.  After a brief discussion about a womanz place Dr. Daughter accompanies the team and they descend into the nest.  After entering the queen's chamber they discover that two queens have managed to escape.  Now, they must discover and destroy the queen ants before they can set up a new colony.

Eventually they talk to a man in an asylum who claims to have seen flying saucer shaped ants.  This guy reminds me of Randy Quaid's character from Independence Day.  We hear the familiar Wilhelm scream several times in this film.  When the ants attack a ship one of the sailors screams out in pain and terror.  With one of the queens now dead, destroyed by the Navy off screen, Arness and Whitmore investigate the theft of 40 tons of sugar.

 
Later, a drunk tells about seeing ants and they eventually discover ants in the LA drainage system.  A press conference is held and LA is put under martial law and the whole ant ordeal is made public.  The army eventually enters the drains and begins searching for the queen.  Whitmore finds the nest and kills several ants but dies in the process.  The army swarms in and kills the ants.  They make their way to the queens chamber and destroy it.  Everyone watches the burning ants die and we have...The End.

Them! is perhaps the best of the giant insect films of the 50s.  With high production values and fine performances from its principal actors it never wanders into absurdity like so many other films that came before, or others who would seek to emulate it.  The sound of the ants is actually that of Hyla Avivoca, or the bird-voiced tree frog.  A little joke with one of my friends is that, while driving during the evening, the sound of these frogs often sounds very similar to that of Them!  Often we'll look at one other and say, as the little girl did, 'Them!'

Leonard Nimoy has a blink and you'll miss it role as a soldier handling reports about the ants.  The only negative thing I have to say about this film is that the romance between Arness and Dr. Daughter never quite materlizes.  He's obviously 'sweet' on her and is overprotective...but there are no fireworks.  It's very subtle though.  Sometimes we simply see them holding hands.  Put simply, if you're in the mood for a well made science fiction film from the atomic age then look no further.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a 1978 cult film that spawned the most unlikely franchise ever.  This film would eventually lead to three sequels, video games, comics and an animated series.  All this from a campy movie parody.  The movie opens with a warning telling us that when Alfred Hitchcock made The Birds people thought it was silly...until a small town was actually invaded by birds.   From this the audience is supposed to fear the mighty tomato. A brief sequence follows where a tomato rolls around and terrorizes a house wife.

 
Following that sequence we have the credits and the movie's theme song plays.  If for some reason you thought this was going to be a serious movie...those hopes have now been dashed as the opening credits remind me of Monty Python and The Holy Grail.  The film resumes with the police investigating the death of the house wife.  Later the police are seen near a farm in a desperate battle with the tomatoes.

A bit later several Generals and Scientists manage to squeeze into a small room for a conference on what to do about the killer tomatoes.  A japanese scientist, dubbed in english, gives a report.  Later we see that even cute teenage girls out for a swim are not safe, as the tomatoes attack them.  Obviously, the threat is serious if cute girls are in danger.  Jaws was quite popular at the time and this sequence is meant to parody it. 

A secret document on the growing tomato threat is 'misplaced' and ends up in the hands of our Lois Lane stand in...Lois Fairchild.  Meanwhile, tomatoes are still causing chaos as they attack a guy riding a dirt bike then later attack the police that were sent to assist.  I should point out our rotating cast of characters also includes a secret team composed of a master of disguise, a paratrooper, a Olympic athlete and a scuba diver.  The master of disguise assumes the identity of Hitler.  The disguise is so good that one of this own teammates tries to attack him...despite the fact he is black.

The movie is so absurd it even identifies San Fransisco as New York.  I guess I don't need to mention the guy who randomly breaks out in song.  Or the talking dog and his master who are killed by tomatoes.  The leader of the secret team is suddenly caught by two killer tomatoes but before they can attack are scared away by some unknown force.

The awkward flirting between Lois and the paratrooper reminds me of Beast From Haunted Cave...only this scene is played for laughs.  Meanwhile the master of disguise has infiltrated the tomatoes but exposes himself once he asks for ketchup.  Finally, the army takes action and engages the tomatoes in a deadly battle.

 
Near the end of the film we have a great car chase.  It starts off the with paratrooper's parachute getting caught in the car door.  When both vehicles sputter out he is almost able to out run the car.  Eventually a plan to destroy the tomatoes is devised.  It is discovered that the 'hit song' Puberty Love can destroy the tomatoes.  The song causes the tomatoes to shrink back to normal size and everyone stomps them.  The movie ends with a love song and...the possible rise of the killer carrots?

The tomatoes being defeated by a song certainly reminds me of Lynn Minmay from Macross.  If you've forgot about Minmay then you clearly do not remember love!  Also of musical interest, it should be noted that the singer of Puberty Love is Matt Cameron who would eventually become the drummer for Soundgarden and Pearl Jam.

There is certainly more to this movie than i've pointed out.  It's something that you need to experience for yourself.  If you enjoy Mystery Science Theater 3000, any movie parody like the Scary Movie series or bad movies like Plan 9 From Outer Space  then you'll love Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.